


Pet Peeve

by EsculentEvil



Series: EsculentEvil's BatJokes Shots [31]
Category: Batman (Comics), Batman - All Media Types
Genre: Affectionate Insults, Batcave, Family Bonding, Fluff and Angst, Humor, Hurt/Comfort, Introverted Joker, M/M, Makeup, New 52, Romance, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-17
Updated: 2018-12-17
Packaged: 2019-09-20 21:09:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 886
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17030067
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EsculentEvil/pseuds/EsculentEvil
Summary: Inspired by a YouTube video called10 Ways To Tell if an Introvert Is Mad At Youby Psych2go.Bruce accidently insults The Joker but doesn't realize it untilafterthe clown gets chummy with his dinosaur.Originally posted to my Tumblr @esculentevil





	Pet Peeve

**Author's Note:**

> Real quick note: this is set in _New 52_ /Snyder’s run because I used [Prime Earth’s Batcave](http://casscain.wikia.com/wiki/Batcave_\(Earth_Prime\)); **however** , this isn’t set in stone as [the dinosaur that’s featured here dates back to 1946′s #35](https://scifi.stackexchange.com/questions/8878/why-is-there-a-dinosaur-in-the-batcave).

_“I still don’t understand why it turned your hair green.”_

_Joker lets out an exasperated sigh, “Does it **matter**  why?”_

_Bruce shrugs tiredly and slings an arm over the clown’s body, “It’s just weird.”_

_The wild card frowns up at the black king before turning around under his arm._

* * *

 

“Alfred, have you seen Joker?”

Calm, ash-brown eyes glance over a uniformed shoulder. The Butler of Wayne Manor raises a thin eyebrow at his Master before turning back to the stove, “No, sir.” He stirs the pot as Bruce Wayne shifts nervously behind him; he tries very hard not to be amused, “Perhaps you should try the Batcave, Master Bruce.”

“Batcave;” Bruce echoes, pointing at the old man, “Right; yea; good idea.”

And then the the kitchen is at peace again.

* * *

 

“He’s a  **bully** , is what he is.”

Bruce frowns as he steps off the study’s lift and into the Batcave, his sanctuary. ( _Well, I guess it’s **his** , now, too..._) His gaze goes, immediately, to the giant T-Rex standing proudly near the suit display cases. Atop the head of his animatronic from Dinosaur Island is none other than Joker, himself, talking to... himself?

No: the giant Joker card behind the dragon’s head ( _Maybe._ ).

The criminal clown huffs and grumbles again, shifting to pet his perch’s head. Batman rolls his eyes at the villain’s theatrics before making his way to him. Joker’s voice echoes through the cave as he angrily speaks again, “And  **rude**! How  **dare**  he ask me such atrocities and speak so vilely against my do!”

( _Okay... maybe he’s talking to the dinosaur...?_ )

“Why, I should hack you, Teddy!” the knave continues, “So you can avenge me!” ( _... Yup, definitely the dinosaur..._ ) Bruce sighs heavily as Joker cackles shrilly. With a mild grunt, the billionaire hoists himself up onto  _Teddy_ ’s head via grapnel. Joker jolts in surprise and stares up at him in awe when his Batsy arrives.

Then, he promptly turns in a huff.

Bruce, a bit thrown off ( _He’s usually all over me..._ ), pockets the grappling gun and sits down on the animatronic’s head, too, right behind the garish villain. Joker continues to ignore him. Confused, the vigilante reaches out and traces a silk-clad shoulder gently, something he knows his mate likes, “Jo? Talk to me...”

It’s the Bat’s turn to jolt as the Joker slaps his hand off.

They end up sitting in stressed silence. During this time, Bruce watches his clown shift away from him, pet  _Teddy_ , and even play with a bat that landed in his hair. ( _... his hair... do... O, god, really?_ ) The hero sighs and rubs his face.

“Is this about what I said last night?”

Joker glares at him over a purple-clad shoulder, “Yes.” Bruce feels himself shrink under that fierce gaze. He swallows thickly and breathes only after it is removed: back to the dinosaur and little animal-bat. A chill seeps through him as he stares at that normally warm and welcoming back: it’s cold and closed off, now.

All because he called Joker’s hair  ** _weird_**.

Bruce runs a hand through his own mess of black locks, eyes going from the clown to the bat to the exit. He takes a deep breath, “... do you want me to go?”

Joker fidgets with the cave-bat and then shrugs.

The vigilante relaxes slightly, relieved he’s not being completely stone walled, before focusing again on how to  **fix**  this. His mouth tries to form words but he only ends up looking like a fish; the villain glances back at him in time to see it.

He giggles weakly.

Grateful for that—the confirmation that he can still make his clown smile/laugh—Bruce grins back tiredly. He then tries to speak again—to explain himself again: “I’d only meant that it was inconsistent. The chemicals in the vat bleached your skin white but turned your lips red and your hair green? That’s a bit odd to me.”

Joker stiffens as he watches Bruce crawl closer to him upon Teddy’s head.

The flesh-faced Bat smiles apologetically as he reaches out again and manages to gently brush back aforementioned green hair, “But... it looks good on you.”

* * *

 

“So... wait,” Jason Todd frowns at his adopted father while neatening his hair, “You’re telling me... that the dinosaur is now named  _Teddy_?”

“I think it’s cute!” Richard Grayson comments from above. He’s sitting on the conversation topic’s head—as Joker and Bruce had been earlier—and grinning.

“It’s permissible,” Damian Wayne, Bruce’s only blood child, sniffs while reading the new, makeshift plaque:  _King Teddy Dino!_  ( _Which is only a **little**  amusing._).

“Seriously?” Jason scuffs. He sets his helmet down and leans against the Batcomputer before fixing Bruce with a StareTM, “This is ridiculous. You’re literally letting him run amuck in the  **Batcave**  and vandalize your property!”

“I was apologizing.”

“For what?!” Jason throws his arms up, completely done with his father figure. And the clown. The little creep’s been running wild and loose way too long.

“... For making it seem like I don’t love every bit of him even as I’m holding him.”

From somewhere up above [he’s hanging from the ceiling with the animal-bat, Bruce swears!], the Joker coos, “Bet you can relate to that, Blushy Boy!” and causes: Jason to blush, Richard to laugh, Damian to smirk, and Bruce to smile.

**Author's Note:**

> I know Joker’s probably an extrovert but this idea was too cute to let go; hope you enjoyed it!


End file.
